Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

 Baru je last week masuk duit, and guess what?!

Minggu ni dah tinggal I don't know how to describe it. Pening betol aku dengan duit ni. Rasa takde buat apa pun, belanja pun makan minum minyak - itu je. Lepas settle bayar sewa rumah, belom lagi segala bil semua, tapi tapi tapi dah half je tinggal. T.T

Dah banyak bulan aku try manage dengan betul duit duit tu, yet nothing happen. Except for February, aku rasa agak sukses perbelanjaan bulan tu. Duit cukup-cukup sampai end of month and ada la balance sikit. Tapi bulan lain-lain, hampeh. Cukup-cukup bulan lesap semua. Kosong! Empty! Ada lah try cari makan dengan kamira, but still tak kemana jugak. Lagipun tak berani nak offer kerja sangat sebab takde equipment sangat. Just body dengan satu lens dengan experience yang tak seberapa. Heh. Sesungguhnya banyak gila lagi benda aku kena explore kena belajar kena lalui.


Sakit gak la dah lepas belasan tahun, tapi perihal duit perihal belanja semua kelaut.  Dengan keadaan ekonomi yang sekarang ni, gila nak survive for another 30 years. Mana-mana perlu duit. Haih.

Hopefully money management aku bertambah lebih baik pasni and dapat jana sikit duit dengan usaha sendiri. Sikit pun dikira improvement jugak. InsyaAllah...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...
Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

  Alhamdulillah, thanks to Allah yang mana telah bagi memberi kepanjangan umur untuk aku hidup di bumi yang penuh misteri ni.

Happy 21st birthday John! Semua yang aku tulis ni ada dalam surat .21 nih. ;)

  Perhh I AM TWENTY ONE! Cepat gila masa berlalu. Still aku rasa macam blur lagi dengan diri sendiri. Soalan - soalan biasa yang kalau ditanya kat orang lain rasanya senang je nak jawab, tapi bagi aku still complicated; favorited color, favorited food or drink, favorite place. Inikan pulak soalan yang lagi complicated bagi orang lain. Sesungguhnya soalan yang subjektif ni memang susah nak dirungkai and to most questions biasanya aku jawab:

"Entahlaaa belalang..."

  Sepanjang hayat, umur 20 tahun aku rasa paling mencabar setakat ni. Macam - macam benda aku lalui hadapi. I dropped myself from IIUM and then made a major u-turn to enroll myself to UniKL Dip. Multimedia Programme. Kalau orang lain maybe dah habis diploma or dah masuk degree, academically aku still struggle to get myself right. Biarlah apa orang nak kata, asalkan aku tak give up! Well tu dari segi academically lah...

  Socially? I guess aku masih sama dengan aku yang Darjah 3, or Darjah 6, or Form 1 or Form 3, 4, 5. Sama! Takde beza!  Hardly to talk to others except you guys start it first and still nervous gila vav* dengan makhluk dikenali sisters or girl or perempuan, whichever you call it lah. Haha! Sometimes I feel it as blessing. Why? Sebab takde laa aku berani nak approach crush-crush aku and risk to be brokenhearted is small. Hahahah. But, honestly, sometimes ada la tension tu. Orang lain bahagia dengan bakal zaujah bakal zauj diorang, ada yang dah plan detail nak kahwin and whatsoever, aku still setia dengan kamira jek! Haha! A truely materialistic guy. Hahahaha! Tapi kesah apa aku, ada jodoh, sampai masa nanti jumpa lah jugak kan? InsyaAllah. Sesungguhnya Allah sebaik-baik perancang. :)

  Kadang-kadang aku ni macam banyak personaliti je aku rasa. Kejap-kejap ignoramusi. Tak kesah langsung hal orang lain, buat dunno jek. Malas nak sebok. Haha. Sometimes aku jadi sensitive sangat pulak. Tengok cerita touching sikit dah meleleh mata. Haha jeng! Orang buat lawak sikit pun kadang dah keluar air mata gak. Tak tahulah a disease or what. Tapi serious masa baca Twitter dapat tahu pemergian Allahyarham TGNA, aku memang ketar and sebak. Tak tahu kenapa tapi memang terasa even sekali or dua je jumpa secara dekat. Moga TGNA ditempatkan bersama para solihin dan para anbiya'. InsyAllah.

  Dalam banyak-banyak benda, benda yang aku rasa memang diri aku adalah I'm An Observer. Aku suka duk sorang pada satu sudut and perhati semua benda. Jalan-jalan dengan member pun aku duduk belakang sekali and observe; tak guna mata, aku guna viewfinder kamira. And then aku dalam kelas memang allergic duduk depan or else aku jadi nervous and ketar ketar (lagi lagi kelas sejuk gilaaa!). Habis semua nota aku tak dapat selain sebab ketar, Kalau duk belakang bahagia je. And maybe that's why aku suka dengan kamira. It's give me a superpower to observe and keep it forever! And seriously aku tak suka dengan serabut. Dengar lagu kuat takpe as long as takde bunyi lain interrupt aku.

Dak mental! Hahaha!

  And maybe that' why aku suka sendiri je. Takde nak menyusahkan orang or sakitkan orang yang sememangnya impossible to predict. Kejap okay kejap mental. Tak paham wooo! Another thing is aku suka gilaa gilaaa ride entah kemana! Haha! Start moto then vroooommmm blah berlalu. Tapi tengok cuaca gak lah. Dah terlalu ribut, tengok moto je lah. Haha. Even moto cikai je, tapi ride tu best! And aku memang agak menjaga safety kit aku. Keluar memana mesti pakai jaket, helmet (ni wajib!) and kasut! Why? Sebab aku pun takut sebenarnya dengan cara tunggangan aku. Tak pernah nak slow biarpun moto tak laju mana pon. Haha! And aku suka tulis! Kalau tak, takdenya panjang gini aku melalut. Kah!

Tu je lah kott benda yang obvious pada aku menjelang 21 tahun lepas. Gila tak sangka aku still survive in this world. Alhamdulillah! :))  Hopefully meningkat umur mendekati mati ni aku dapat jadi a better person in every aspect. Maybe tak signifikan pun improvement tapi ada peningkatan from the 20-years-old me.

  So that's all je lah kott!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JOHN FRIDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AFIQ FIDA'IY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE!

ALL THE BEST, DEAR MYSELF!

Assalamualaikum!

(written on 16 Feb 2015, published on 2nd March '15. I'm 21 years and 1 day old. )

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

 Hi guys. Really not in the mood to express anything lately. Not because nothing happened, but too many things had happen in quite short period of time. Drives my expression system crazy. Sometimes I don't even know what to feel. Crazy, isn't it? And it's happen to be that tomorrow English classes is postponed due to some reason, so I kinda have much time to think what to put in here this time. Still working on the contents by the time I wrote this so it might get upside down, a bit messy topic I guess. Hahah.

 I just finished watch one of the TEDTalk just now. It's about something that always come to my mind - Why Do We Do What We Do? Here's the LINK. I always went to TED websites for their talks. I found it interesting and the speakers are somehow really cool and the talk are kinda easy to understand. Plus, it have subtitles option on the web.

 So why do we do what we do huh? From what I have been through all these years, what I do is much because that's the BEST I think I can do. Besides, it also because of my belief, Islam and my eagerness to impress others; especially my parent. And from the talk that I just heard we do what we do because of fulfilment. Fulfilment to our desire, needs and belief. For me, yeah, it is true. We do anything to fulfil our feeling toward something, our desire to have a better life and our faith to do thing for our belief.


 In Standard 6, I'd my UPSR. I do my best on that exam. Why? Because it's my fulfilment for my future. I want to get into good secondary school and thanks God, my hardwork paid. A year later, I went to SMU(A)MML, one of the top school in Kelantan (I guess. Haha). Two years later, I sat my PMR examination. Throughout the year, I do my best to get the best out of me for this exam. Why? Because I believe that moving out to other school was something great. I got great result for PMR and offered to go to Sekolah Alam Shah in KL. I went. And not more than 1 month, I was back in Maahad Muhammadi Lelaki. Ashamed. Hahah. This one I don't really know why, but it's not as what I thought it will be when I was there. Homesick. Day full of study, books and revision. I thought I might die due to this. Hahah.

 In Form 4, we as a religous school student had our SMU; Sijil Menengah Ugama. It's an examination of religious subject that we learned; Hadith, Quran, Tafsir, History of Islam and so on. And it's in fully Arabic which I don't really master. And patheticly, I only managed to get 2 Mumtaz (Excellence) out of 10 subject. And it's just Bahasa and English subject. Until this day I still haven't mastered Arabic. On the last year of my secondary school, we had our SPM. The biggest exam student will face. The exam that mostly said as the key to our future. I don't really hold to that saying. For me exam is merely just an exam, to test our brain at that moment. If we want to change our life, we can do it anytime. We just have to figure it out how. There must be a way. But, I also want to get to a best university so that I can pursue my ambition which I don't really knew what. That whole year was hectic. On the day, I got school to attend. Then evening full of extra classes. The night come with tuition at several places in a week. It's like my brain was only concentrating on what the exam question will ask. I was kinda bad in communication which resulting me as a lone ranger at most time. I don't really talk to people. Tend to be alone, I like it. And Alhamdulillah, my hardwork has been paid by the good result that I got.


 After few days of thinking where I want to continue my studies, I decided to go to IIUM in engineering course. That's when I was kinda adrift. On the first two semester, I was okay. My study pattern was still like when I was in Form 5. I still bad in making friends or triggering any communication. But then, I started to join society and event held by the club or universities. I enjoy taking photos and making poster and everything that's not engineering. And some of my friends had changed courses and joining Economics courses. My mind started to collapse. Thinking this and that. And my objective was deviated. I started to think - is this what I really want? To be an engineer? And that time my study pattern changed. I started to felt that I don't think I really want all this. On the few last weeks of second semester, I also applied to change course - I applied to change to Architecture. With my mind telling me that I my application would go through, I ignore my final exam. I just sat the exam so that I just pass the subject, not to get the best out of me. I lost interest to study harder in engineering. And the next semester, when the result of application out, I didn't got through. My pointer already low, and it's painful to accept it. My stubbornness killed me. It's really really hard to increase pointer, and amazingly easy to drop it. With the subject that getting more difficult, I know this gonna end, not as what I expect when I got in. So, before the final exam on the final semester, I already sent an application to UniKL to continue in Multimedia. And now, here I am. Two years behind of everybody at my age. It's hurt. Always feel humiliated. But that's it. I made decision and I have to accept it. Besides, life is a test. Whatever happens, happens.

 Now, I trying my best not to let myself down again. Even it's hurt to see me behind my friends in studies, I believe that there's something behind this. Right now, the semester haven't been really hard yet. I manage to understand most of the thing easily. And hopefully I gonna end successfully here. Everything that I'd done was a fulfilment; to fulfil my need to my future, to make my parent and friends proud of me. But sometimes I let the bad sides of my emotion got on the line. We have to control our emotions so that the positive emotion always be at our side.


 We also do things to fulfil our faith towards our deen. Islam told us to be caliph on this world. And to be caliph, we have to do our best, no matter in what aspects; attitude, behaviour, demeanor and so on. How can we be a caliph if we can't even live on our own.

So get the best out of us! Wallahu 'alam...

// aku tak tau apa aku bebel ni, aku just tulis apa yang terlintas je. abaikan penggunaan grammar English yang tidak tepat jauh kelaut antartika sebab aku memang tak reti English. Saje tulis in English sebab aku rasa aku boleh master English ni. Hahaha.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.
 Its been a very tragic years for Malaysian as two of Malaysia Airlines plane went gone - MH370 and MH17. While the MH370 is still unkown its location, the flight MH17 was shot down over the Ukraine airspace with 298 onboard on 17 July 2014. The flight journey was from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur.

This is my tribute to the Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 (MH17). The crew (15) were Malaysian and about two-thirds of the passengers were Dutch (193), while many of the other passengers were Australians (27) and Malaysians (28).

"You went so soon, so soon; You left so soon, so soon; I have to move on ’cause I know it’s been too long; I’ve got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong; I’ll try to take it all, even though it’s so hard; I see you in my dreams but when I wake up you are gone; Gone so soon..." - So Soon by Maher Zain

Condolences to their families and relatives. Al-Fatihah. 
#RememberingMH17

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Just a little sharing.
Yang mana pakai smartphone tu, which I guess 90% of you are, manfaatkanlah.
Jangan duk install benda mengarut je. Install apss yang berfaedah sikit. Sikit pun jadi lah.

Ni antara apps yang aku selalu guna;

Facebook: Be friends or follow orang orang yang kita nak jadi. Contoh: kalau minat photography, join group photo, add/follow master photography. So that kita dapat tau sikit sebanyak perkara tentang benda tu.

Twitter: Selain follow geng-geng kita, follow sekali news and education profile. Atleast tengah buang masa scroll timeline, ade lah sikit general knowledge masuk.

Instagram: Yang ni jangan duk follow ramai sangat, nanti cepat habis quota! Hahahaha.


Notes app: Tulis segala apa yang terlintas dalam otak. Train jari taip dengan laju and train otak tangkap benda penting. Try dengar lagu and taip lyric dia. Sekarang dah 21st century, what do you expect akan jadi pada tahun tahun mendatang? Semua technology. Pergi dengar talk, then try to type every points that's important. Biar penuh note dalam apps tu. Free time nanti baca balik.

Dropbox: Yang ni pun aku selalu jugak guna. Assignments, documents or notes buang dalam ni. Senang nanti bila bila nak akses buka internet notes ada dalam tu. Takde laa alasan "alaa note dalam pendrive, dalam hdd" whatsoever. Tapi space dia limited lah. Kaya, ada duit boleh upgrade. Hahah

Calendar: Apps calendar tu bagi bermakna sikit. Selain save birthday mak abah pakwe makwe, save la jugak date exam, date hantar assignment, date meeting. Bayar phone mahal mahal tak nak guna apps apa guna. Rasa kaya sangat la tu ?! Phui

Remote PC: Ini ada banyak jenis, aku guna BT Remote PC really helpful masa presentation yang guna laptop. Korang boleh control lappy dengan guna smartphone tu via bluetooth. Takde laa tercengang depan lappy tekan 'next' halang view audience nak tengok layar skrin tu. Its free. Tapi kalau berbayar punya version lagi banyak kegunaan dia. Dunia, semua nak duit.

MySolat: Info untuk waktu solat wherever you are. Quran tak berape feel baca dalam phone, lagi feel pegang quran sebenar. :)

Office suite / PDF reader: Mesti ada! Senang nak view docs. Tengah duduk dalam tren or teksi or tunggu pakwe datang baca la note kejap.


Recorder: Yang ni pun guna gak. Masa dengar talk/speech on je. Sambil tu type la isi penting dalam notes. Yang taksempat nanti dgr balik. Easy.

Maps/Waze: Nak gi mana mana senang. Boleh teroka sendiri takpayah tanya makhluks lain. Ade kaki ada tangan ada otak ada smartphone, jalan! Dah umur 18/19/20 dah, try to stand on your own. Terkadang bila sesat lagi kita ingat jalan tu. Tapi tengah malam jangan duk try. bahaya!

MyTeksi: Ni duduk memana area KL ni senang panggil teksi. Kekadang ada promosi.
Flipboard: Ini best! Pilih topic korang minat, nanti ada news from that topic. Boleh tambah knowledge.

Maybank2u/Cimbclicks: Senang nak cek balance, nak transfer or nak ape ape je la on internet banking. Takde lah beratur panjang kat atm, semata nak check balance? Apa jadahnya. -.-

VSCO/Snapseed/Pixlr: Sebab aku minat photography tapi takde natang dslr tu, pakai menda ni best. Hari hari edit touch up photo. Hahahaa. Then up insta, then tunggu like. Pathetic! Aku la tu. Kah! -.-

GSC/TGV cinemas: Nak tengok muvi plan awal sikit. Takde la pegi beratur lama lama sampai depan tiket habis. Menangis. Takde guna. Padan muka. Habis masa. Balik.

Wordsearch: The only game yang aku ada. Macam best. Games dalam phone macam takbest bagi aku. Lagipun cepat makan battery. Nak game, on laptop, on pc. Bukak FIFA. Let's the game begin! ;)

Hmm, itu je la kot aku yang selalu guna.

Jangan duk takut sangat nak guna benda benda ni. Takut habis battery lah, habis yang powerbank besar gedabak bawak kehulu hilir buat mende? Beli mahal mahal guna lah!

Biar celik IT sikit otak tu. Manfaatkan teknologi yang ada, biarlah guna apps trial je pun. Haha. Tak terasa ke nak ada technology macam muvi Iron Man? Kadang kadang apps dah ada dalam phone, tapi takpernah guna pun. Explore sikit phone sendiri tu. :)

Kita semua future leaders, insyAllah. And future bukannya zaman batu. Tengok tahun 2004 phone mostly takde touch screen lagi, now TV pun dah touchscreen. Lagi 5-6 tahun? Wallahuallam. Korang invest ratus ratus sometimes ribu on phone, takkan lah setakat nak guna front camera buat selfie je? Takkan nak scroll twitter and play CoC je? Be smart! :)


Okay now cer cuba try share apps korang selalu guna pulak? ;)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

 Kalau Arsenal dah berubah dari Nike kepada Puma, aku pun ada perubahan yang besar. It's not something yang boleh dibanggakan, tapi just to prevent any confusion di masa depan. Fact is, ia memang satu benda memalukan pun aku rasa. But I'm going to tell it anyway.

 Kalau sebelum ni korang korang nampak banyak post aku berkenaan CFSIIUM, kat CFSIIUM, perihal perihal aktiviti CFSIIUM and UIA umumnya, after this you guys maybe takkan nampak post post gitu lagi lepas ni. Sepanjang dua tahun aku di CFSIIUM, aku pun taktahu mana silap aku. Aku just pergi kelas, join club society and sometimes keluar jalan jalan like other students. Mungkin memang bukan jalan aku kat situ and sesungguhnya perancangan Allah SWT lagi baik. So, long story short - aku bukan budak UIA lagi! Bukan CFSIIUM and bukan IIUM! Aku sekarang hanyalah bekas UIA, bukan bekas tupperware okay!

Tinggal kenangan. Gonna be always in my heart :'(

 Result final exam final semester aku taklah membanggakan even memalukan. Dengan CGPA yang terkapai kapai di hujung tanduk, aku decide untuk sambung perjalanan hidup aku kat somewhere else.

"The hardest thing in life is deciding whether to give up or just try harder."

 So, lama aku fikir before buat decision untuk just give up on this journey. And begin a new journey, a new chapter in my life. Berkali jugak aku terfikir - "Damn dua tahun aku buat apa la kat sini, nothing! Takde apa except wasting time and money." And berkali jugak aku terpikir nanti orang dah done with degree aku mungkin baru melangkah ke dunia degree. But then aku terpikir lagi, it's okay Allah dah set up something bigger for me, insyAllah.

“Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It’s OK to fail. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.” – H. Stanley Judd 

 Last week aku officially bergelar mahasiswa UniKL MIIT. Majoring in Multimedia. Something yang aku rasa memang ada dalam diri aku, yang aku betul gila-gilakan. Passion. I hope jalan aku pilih ni adalah yang terbaik untuk aku eventhough aku dah korbankan dua tahun di CFSIIUM. Pengalaman and ilmu yang aku dapat kat situ amat bermakna. Lima tahun di Maahad Muhammadi Lelaki, then 2 tahun di CFSIIUM - Garden of Knowledge and Virtue. And now aku di sebuah institusi terbuka UniKL. Hopefully ilmu and pengalaman dapat membimbing aku agar sentiasa di jalan yang benar. First week aku still culture shock. Now pun still try to adapt cara hidup baru ni.

 Kampus aku takdalah sebesar Kampus IIUM Gombak tu. Even Campus CFS pun lagi besar. Hahah. Kampus aku hanyalah sebuah bangunan 31 tingkat kat tengah tengah bandar beberapa blok dari Sogo Shopping Complex tu. Trust me, dalam tu tersangatlah sejuk macam dalam refrigerator. Bagi aku yang sememangnya taktahan sejuk, tetiap masa menggeletar dalam tu. Even nak menulis pun susah. Taktahu cemana nak survive lagi enam semester kat sini. While hostel aku pulak kat Kerinchi. Just a few minutes walk from LRT Kerinchi. Boleh tahan la hostel ni, tapi aku rasa lagi better la bangunan ABC, just sini boleh keluar masuk up till 12am tetiap hari. So far everything okay la kott except that aku shaking every class I attend. Pergi kelas pun naik bas pasal jauh sangat, and freshmen takdibenarkan bawak transport sendiri. Maybe semester kedua nanti aku nak cari rumah sewa la selesa sikit. Kelas kitorang bebas pakaian apa asalkan sopan.

A new chapter.

 Demam Denggi!

 Unfortunately aku takdapat nak cerita panjang pasal suasana pembelajaran kat UniKL MIIT ni sebab aku sempat masuk kelas satu hari je lepas 3 hari orientasi. Hari first kelas, aku dah demam menggelatar and pening gila. Malam tu aku ditahan wad sementara PPUM sebab low blood pressure. Esoknya aku tak ke kelas and just terbaring kat bilik. Lusa pergi PPUM lagi sekali tapi kali ni dengan uncle aku. Sekali lagi semalaman aku kat situ untuk masuk air, but this time nurse cakap aku suspect denggi and platelet darah aku low - 72. So, terus decide untuk balik Kelantan sebab susah kat KL nanti takde yang nak urus and tengok-tengokkan. Maghrib tu terus naik flight balik Kelantan and mendarat je terus bergegas ke HUSM. Tak balik pun. Sampai HUSM sah denggi and warded sampai lah dua hari lepas - 2 July 2014. Memang pedih and letih gila rasa tubuh badan.

 Alhamdulillah sekarang dah sihat sikit, cuma ada lagi pening pening kepala but overall I'm okay. InsyaAllah kalau takde pape Ahad ni dah balik UniKL balik and balik lagi nanti hari raya.

 Akhir sekali, thanks CFSIIUM dah banyak mengajar aku macam macam benda and bagi aku banyak pengalaman. And kepada geng geng yang bakal menyambung degree taklama lagi aku ucapkan All The BEST! Yang ambil langkah macam aku ni, aku wish bersabarlah and tabah dengan segala apa yang mendatang. Kita mungkin pernah gagal, tapi bukan selamanya kita gagal. Bangkitlah!

 Last sekali, selamat berpuasa guys! :)